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| Name | Time | Sex | Age | Beer | Notes | |
| 1. | Dyronman "Dyronman" Hamlinstein | 8:6.0 | M | 33 | Coors Original, from can | still burping...the buzz curve is scientifically fascinating. |
| 2. | Brick "Brick" Philbrick | 9:50.0 | M | 45 | Coors Original, from can | I ditched biology lab for this? Awesome! |
| 3. | Birdman "Birdman" Birdwell | 9:55.0 | M | 31 | Coors Original, from can | more fun when it's done |
| 4. | Ti-Trey-nium "Ti-Trey-nium Man" Chandler | DNF | M | 40 | Coors Original, from can | I am FORTY years old! I should know better. |
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