| Name | Time | Sex | Age | Beer | Notes |
| 1. | Dennis* "pussywart" Ho* | 10:48.0 | F | 31 | Stella*, from bottle | 11.2 oz beer |
| 2. | Bryan "The Wiz" Massey | 11:25.0 | M | 3 | Miller High Life, from can | Best Sportsmanship |
| 3. |
Jim "Corndog" Stracke
| 12:14.0 | M | 39 | Miller High Life, from can | Defending Champ |
| 4. |
John "Freckle Dick" Henson
| 13:7.0 | M | 30 | Lord Chesterfield Ale, from bottle | 300 miles of disappointment |
| 5. |
Ryan "The Devil's" Spohn
| 13:19.0 | M | 34 | Miller High Life, from can | Finished with a kick |
| 6. | Mike "The Matador" Mullis | 13:32.0 | M | 30 | Dale's Pale Ale, from can | strong start. strong beer. |
| 7. | James "Gun Neck" Cumberland | 14:14.0 | M | 3 | Heineken, from can | prerace beer strategy |
| 8. | Alex "gimme some" Moore | 14:23.0 | M | 2 | Miller High Life, from can | ginger representative |
| 9. |
Ben "Dirty" Davis
| 15:28.0 | M | 3 | Dale's Pale Ale, from can | see mike mullis |
| 10. |
Todd "Lazyface" Owen
| 16:10.0 | M | 21 | Miller High Life, from can | no trash |
| 11. | Thomas "T-Bag" Johnson | 16:45.0 | M | 24 | Miller High Life, from can | trashman |
| 12. |
Barry "The Condor" Floyd
| 19:39.0 | M | 37 | budweiser, from can | no puke |
| 13. | Erika "Ain't No Dummy" Douglas | 21:33.0 | F | | budweiser, from can | Women's Winner |
| 14. |
Andy "drunk jesus" Nagy
| 21:50.0 | M | 1 | Sierra Nevada, from bottle | thanks for playing. |
| 15. | Lanae "the sleeper" Savu | DNF | F | 28 | Miller High Life, from can | nice try |
| 16. | Chris "pet name" Petit | DNF | M | | ???, from can | oops |
| 17. | Aimee "Lil Sumpin" Stoneking | DNF | F | | Miller High Life, from can | tied for first in the last name contest |
| 18. | Amy "What'd You Say?!" Woodcock | DNF | F | | Miller High Life, from can | co champ last name. long lost twin sister |
| 19. |
John
| DNF | | | | |