| Name | Time | Sex | Age | Beer | Notes |
| 1. | Foster Hays | 8:05.0 | M | 18 | Keystone Light, from can | Men's Champion! |
| 2. | Christopher Connelly | 8:07.0 | M | 21 | Keystone Light, from can | Puked right after finishing. Looking forward to the beer triathlon that's in the works. |
| 3. | Peter Chiu | 8:22.0 | M | 19 | Keystone Light, from can | This guy sucks at drinking. It's ok, though. Ironman Wisconsin'll be different. |
| 4. | David Goldenberg | 10:44.0 | M | 24 | Keystone Light, from can | We're not sure if he actually puked... but he almost got beaten by a girl, so we think he has suffered enough. |
| 5. | Lenore Estrada | 10:46.0 | F | 21 | Keystone Light, from can | Women's Champion! |
| 6. | Katherine Ramsey | 11:09.0 | F | 20 | Keystone Light, from can | |