| Name | Time | Sex | Age | Beer | Notes |
| 1. | Andy "No Gag Reflex" Sobczyk | 8:01.0 | M | 19 | Coke, from can | Diet Mountain Dew |
| 2. |
Chris "Asshole" McCoy
| 9:24.0 | M | 20 | Coke, from can | Mountain Dew |
| 3. |
Justin "Got Squat" Hill
| 9:57.0 | M | 20 | Budweiser, from can | Can't Chug |
| 4. |
Will "Who me?" Coleman
| 10:45.0 | M | 20 | Budweiser, from can | A week of drinking did him in tonight |
| 5. | Pat "Sir Sipalot" Quebman | 20:49.0 | M | 20 | Miller Genuine Draft, from can | Not the fleetest, but should have done better |
| 6. |
Madonna "Smiles" Schueler
| 26:50.0 | F | 19 | Coke, from can | Root Beer, soda is not her friend; KHSAA CC State Champion |
| 7. |
Liz "I'm tiny" Gehrke
| 27:47.0 | F | 18 | Budweiser, from can | Peed during the run, thankfully not in her pants, laid down during the race |