5th Annual Fall K-W BM
Waterloo, ON

Conditions: Cold, Clear

Official Race Site

created by user mullet

NameTimeSex Age  Beer Notes
1. Mike "Mullet B. Miler" Logue   6:07.0  M23Carling Black Label, from can  Defending Champ
2. Dave "Hutch-EZ" Hutchinson   6:12.0  M23Labatt 50, from can  PB
3. Scott "The Snake" Arnald   6:45.0  M23Labatt Genuine Draft, from can  PB
4. Matt "Stricky" Strickland   7:20.0  M22Labatt 50, from can  PB
5. Steve "The Doctor" Formaneck   7:45.0  M26Moosehead, from can  Rookie
6. Colin "CAW-LON" Lawrence   8:05.0  M20Carling Black Label, from can  
7. Mark Linseman   8:08.0  M20Stroh's Lager, from can  
8.Rich Benko  8:37.0  M25Molson Dry, from can  Rookie, 5.5% abv
9. Andrea Dupont   10:33.0  F25Chocolate Milk  4 x 500mL Chocolate Milk from Carton, Rookie
10. Laura "Midget #1" Sardone   24:37.0  F21Molson Export, from can  Rookie, 1:28 penalty lap, female drunken dash winner
11. Surabhi Venkatesh   28:30.0  F22Moosehead, from can  Rookie, skier
12. Emie "trainer" Ukwuoma   DNF  M21Labatt Genuine Draft, from can  200m total
13. Colin Rhodes   DNF  M25Chocolate Milk  Done after 3.5 laps, Rookie, skier, drunken dash winner (12.7)
14.Charles Curtis  DNF  M25From can  Done after 2 laps, Rookie
15.Julie "Midget #2" Maruska  DNF  F20Stella Artois, from can  DQ - Spill With Intent, Rookie
16. Tiffany Duncan   DNF  F22Moosehead, from can  DQ - 3 beers & 1 chocolate milk, Rookie
17. Andrea "Midget #3" Cousineau   DNF  F20Alexander Keith's India Pale Ale, from can  DQ - Spill With Intent, Rookie
18.Trudy "TruDat" Gardner  DNF  F24Moosehead, from can  DQ - Spill With Intent, 1:55 penalty lap

Race Notes:

The 5th annual fall BM of KW was yet another exciting affair. Although the temperature was nipple-like, the day brought good weather otherwise. 18 brave souls took to the track that evening, although not all would survive the grueling journey of four times around the black oval, all the while turning left, with rest enough only to drink a beer each lap.

As the event approached, the usual banter was bantered and death threats were uttered. The eventual winner called his own number and publicly announced his attempt to become only the ninth man in history to break the sacred 6 minute barrier. There was also a serious challenger in the form of HutchEZ, and the battle for the remaining medals looked tighter than ever.

The race got off quickly, as the defending champ was third off the 1st beer and HutchEZ made an early statement taking the lead. The Mullet B. Miler quickly used running to his advantage and reeled in the superior drinker. The Mullet was in sole possession of 1st for the rest of the race, until HutchEZ once again pulled ahead on the 4th and final beer. In exciting fashion, the champ pounded fast, charged after Hutch, and reeled him in within 100 metres. Now the race was only against the clock as the throng of fans cheered the leader toward the meet and facility record - it would be close.

As he broke the proverbial tape and his time was announced as 6:07, the champ decisively commented "FAAACK" while suppressing the urge to heave. 2 seconds off the record and no sub-6. Unfortunately this feat would have to wait until the spring incarnation. What held him back, the running or the beer? The lactic acid or the acid reflux? We'll never know for sure, but maybe his splits will help tell the story:
12.9 / 63.9
25.9 / 68.4
32.7 / 67.6
32.1 / 62.7

In a huge PB coming off a superb season of hill and dale was HutchEZ in 6:12. Another PB and another medal greeted the Snake at the finish line. The first beer proved troublesome for the rum-and-coke drinker, as this put him too far back to utilize his patented snake-venom strike in the later stages of the race. Overall, the sport seems to be advancing nicely, as all but 3 of the 11 finishers ran PB's. Also, impressive debuts were made by the American doctor and the pseudo-European slacker. Finally, some mad props must be given to the first woman to finish, in 10:33. That is because she did the chocolate milk mile - 4 x 500mL without puking (during the race anyways)!

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