First Annual Beaver Beer Mile
Beavercreek, OH

Conditions: 38 degrees, windy, cloudy

created by user THirt

NameTimeSex Age  Beer Notes
1. Tom "Spongeworthy" Hirt   14:41.0  M29Coors Light, from can  Puked 10 yards past finish line
2.Kevin "Mulva" Cheddar  14:51.0  M32Coors Light, from can  4 foot stocking cap slowed him down
3.Deb "Puffy Shirt" Hirt  16:00.0  F23Coors Light, from can  First female finisher; sister of winner
4. David "I was in the pool!" Cheddar   17:45.0  M31Miller Lite, from can  Wore bike helmet
5.Mark "Crazy Joe Devola" Jones  17:51.0  M25Coors Light, from can  Dressed as a friar
6. Bonnie "Schmoopie" Reichardt   18:45.0  F25Coors Light, from can  Penalty lap; puked during 4th lap through nose
7.Liz "Jean-Paul" Ernst  24:20.0  F23Coors Light, from can  Puked 4+ times after finishing
8. Colin "Schmoopie" Barr   30:00.0  M28Miller Lite, from can  Questionable beer drinking caught on tape
9. Sara "Serenity now" Hirt   30:05.0  F27Coors Light, from can  2nd female to finish and not puke
10. Cort "T-Bone" Sattler   31:45.0  M30Miller Lite, from can  Penalty lap; spill with intent
11.Katie "Real and Spectacular" Leisner  31:59.0  F23Coors Light, from can  Penalty lap; puked at least 2 times
12.Mike "Airing of grievances" Linegang  35:15.0  M30Miller Lite, from can  Penalty lap; spill with intent
13.Betty Ann "Feats of Strength" Linegang  36:00.0  F33Miller Lite, from can  Penalty; spill with intent
14. Rosie "Soup Nazi" Oliva   36:05.0  F28Coors Light, from can  Penalty; spill with intent
15.Claire "Master of her domain" Liszkay  38:15.0  F23Miller Lite, from can  I feel good
16.Sarah "Jerk Store" Vecci  38:51.0  F24Coors Light, from can  Last place finisher!
17.Holly "Festivus" Sattler  DNF  F30N/A  Walked, helped officiate... currently pregnant
18.Nick "Fusilli Jerry" Fererri  DNF  M26Coors Light, from can  Herniated L4-5 disc in back, did have 3 extra beers, worked camcorder
19. Andrew "Coco" Jamieson   DNF  M28Coors Light, from can  Tore ACL bending over to pick up 1st beer
20.Dave "Manssiere" Martin  DNF  M30N/A  Unable to compete; helped officiate
21.Sheila "Man Hands" Martin  DNF  F30N/A  Officiated
22. Scott "Poppie" Kulka   DNF  M28N/A  Late arrival
23. Jodi "Hoochie Mama" Kulka   DNF  F28N/A  Late arrival, also pregnant
24. Ben "Vegetable Lasanga" Penry   DNF  M24N/A  Called arriving late biggest mistake of 05

Race Notes:

A rousing success for the first annual race. All competitors were first-timers. This is sure to become a New Year's Eve tradition.

In the finishing lap, Hirt held off a strong late charge from Cheddar to win by a comfortable margin, but ran just past the finish line, and lost his 4th beer in the grass. Cheddar did the same a few moments behind.

Race was marred somewhat by several competitors encouraging spill with intent, most notably Rosie Oliva.

Scandal struck on reviewing the video, as David Cheddar actually finished the last 2/3 of Colin Barr's 4th beer.

All in all, lots of puking, lots of spillage, but all finishers recieved a medal of participation.

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