Beermile.com - 5th Annual Spring K-W BM (Ontario Championships) (04-01-2006)

5th Annual Spring K-W BM (Ontario Championships)
Waterloo, ON
2006-04-01

Conditions: Cloudy, 4C, Windchill -1C, NW 24km/h gusting to 41km/h

Official Race Site

created by user mullet

	Name	Time	Sex	Age	Beer	Notes
1.	Mike "Mullet B. Miler" Logue	5:54.9	M	24	Carling Black Label, from can	PB & Record (sub-6)
2.	Dave "Hutch-EZ" Hutchinson	6:01.7	M	24	Labatt 50 / Molson Canadian, from can	PB, breaks previous record
3.	Adam Lalonde	6:37.5	M	24	Labatt Genuine Draft, from can	Former champ
4.	Scott "The Snake" Arnald	6:39.8	M	24	Molson Export, from can	PB
5.	Colin "CAW-LON" Lawrence	7:05.3	M	21	Labatt 50 / Molson Canadian, from can	PB
6.	Christopher "Moults" Moulton	7:30.7	M	24	Labatt Crystal, from can	Top Outside Competition
7.	Ken McAlpine	7:37.0	M	34	Chocolate Milk	Rookie, facility milk record!
8.	Mark Linseman	7:42.8	M	21	Carling Black Label / Lakeport Pilsner, from can	Borrowed beer
9.	Steve "The Doctor" Formaneck	8:18.4	M	26	Chocolate Milk	Milk rookie, Breaks previous record
10.	Emie "Monsoon" Ukwuoma	8:33.0	M	21	Labatt Genuine Draft, from can	PB, 1st sprinter
11.	Katie "Ladyk" Horricks	8:50.0	F	18	Canadian, from can	Rookie, womens record (solo 4-beer)
12.	Dustin "Double D" Doan	8:59.5	M	23	Schlitz, from can	1st race of the year
13.	Heather "Hutch's Date" Austin	9:00.0	F	23	Stella Artois, from can	1st womens 3-beer
14.	Kevin "Smith" Smith	9:01.9	M	24	Alexander Keith's India Pale Ale, from can	Dated & shitty?
15.	Rob "Barkie" Bark	9:59.7	M	18	Chocolate Milk	Rookie, breaks previous milk record
16.	Dan "Captain Obvious" Ritz	10:01.0	M	19	Canadian, from can	Rookie, top mens b-mile debut
17.	Toni Carlisle	10:33.7	F	21	Moosehead, from can	Rookie, female bronze in debut
18.	Adam Asquini	10:45.5	M	21	Labatt Genuine Draft, from can	Rookie
19.	Kirk "Saskapoon" Ewen	10:50.8	M	21	Chocolate Milk	PB, previous milk champ
20.	Ian Carswell	11:00.5	M	30	Canadian, from can
21.	Mike Neilly	11:08.2	M	22	Moosehead, from can	Rookie, top male skier
22.	Shane "Captain Canoon" Ferth	11:11.1	M	25	Lakeport Pilsner, from can	Fastest penalty lap (60s)
23.	Cleve Thorson	12:17.4	M	25	Labatt Crystal, from can	Rookie?
24.	Drew "Apple Picker" Haynes	12:17.6	M	23	Canadian, from can	Drunken dash winner (11.8s)
25.	Andrea Dupont	12:20.5	F	25	Chocolate Milk	Female milk champ
26.	Joel Sanderi	12:37.4	M	23	Moosehead, from can	Rookie, international representation
27.	Paulo Monte	13:13.8	M	26	Alexander Keith's India Pale Ale, from can	Warm up for Toronto
28.	Ryan "Polkaroo" Wight	14:18.6	M	19	Canadian, from can	PB, 1st jumper
29.	Andrew Lahey	15:19.8	M	19	Canadian, from can	Rookie
30.	Karen Belfall	15:41.0	F	18	Labatt Blue, from can	Rookie, game-time switch to beer
31.	Ian MacKinnon	16:48.3	M	23	Moosehead, from can	Rookie
32.	Colleen "Cooleener" Forde	17:50.6	F	20	Schlitz, from can	Rookie
33.	Greg "Another Hutch" Hutchinson	17:50.8	M	23	Labatt Crystal, from can	Rookie? Slowest fastest runner
34.	Andrew "Andy Mac" MacDonald	18:31.8	M	21	Alexander Keith's India Pale Ale, from can	Best male puke
35.	Sarah "Captain Buns" Snable	19:56.3	F	24	Labatt Blue, from can	PB
36.	Surabhi Venkatesh	21:57.9	F	19	Moosehead, from can	PB
37.	Andrea "Midgy #3" Cousineau	DNF	F	20	Carling Black Label, from can	Stopped after last beer
38.	Laura "Midget #1" Sardone	DNF	F	21	Carling Black Label, from can	Fall champ, stopped after last beer!
39.	Alex MacDonald	DNF	M	20	Schlitz, from can	Stopped at beer 4
40.	Tiffany Duncan	DNF	F	21	Labatt Blue, from can	Stopped at beer 2
41.	Colin Rhodes	DNF	M	21	Chocolate Milk	Stopped after lap 2
42.	Steve Kristensen	DNF	M	21	Alexander Keith's India Pale Ale, from can	Stopped at beer 2
43.	Brianne Deputter	DNF	F	21	Labatt Blue, from can	Stopped at beer 1
44.	Coel Findlay	DNF	M	20	Lakeport Pilsner, from can	DQ - Bottles & Cans / spill
45.	Nathan Palmer	DNF	M	19	Canadian, from can	DQ - Bottles & Cans mixed (Corona)
46.	Kate Bickle	DNF	F	21	Alexander Keith's India Pale Ale, from can	DQ - Traded beers/poured out
47.	Maddy Noble	DNF	F	21	Alexander Keith's India Pale Ale, from can	DQ - Traded beers/poured out

Race Notes:

This past Saturday, elite and extensive self-destruction and debauchery wreaked itself upon a black oval deep in the heart of south-western Ontario.

In the weeks heading up to the 5th annual spring KW BM, talk and invitations spread like wildfire. It came to a point where every Ontario institution and contender worth its running salt received news of the impending apocalypse. There was no choice but to crown the event the provincial championships... or perhaps the worlds?

This race was also dubbed the retirement party for one Mullet B. Miler, due to his varsity graduation. Much like the fall edition where he took gold but fell short of the record, this mullet had big plans and made it no secret: Sub-6 or broke. Many others issued threats, but only a few had the ability to push the tight short-long.

One such contender, HutchEZ of the home team, made a statement very early, taking the first lead with a commanding 9 second beer. His lead did not last long as the long-maned crooked-neck blasted off a 60s first quarter. The two top dawgs continued to trade leads like this in exciting fashion, as per their individual specialization, until the final intervals. The last beer was slammed back convincingly by both heavy weights, and they emerged from the fourth and final exchange zone in unison for the first time. This is when the muleteer™ maximized his running advantage, and pulled away to yet another BM title.

This title was the sweetest of all though, as the mullet crossed the line in a meet record of 5:54.9. The most daunting of beer mile barriers had been shattered by over 5 seconds, as he posted a 10 second personal best. Pending approval, the mullet becomes the 7th fastest b-miler of all-time. Not to be outdone, HutchEZ crossed the line a mere stroke past the barrier, under the previous record and in a new PB of 6:01.7. This was sweet vengeance for Hutch, who's ego had taken a beating in the traditional predictions leading up to the race.

A record number of participants followed Mullet B. Miler and HutchEZ to b-mile stardom. 47 participants squeezed themselves onto the 8 lanes, of which 36 legitimately finished. The first of which was former champ and recent long distance convert Adam:L, who made the pilgrimage to represent Northern Ontario and was rewarded with the bronze. As a result, Adam bumped Scott the Snake out of the medals for virtually the first time all year. Despite less time to prepare for the event due to international commitments, the Snake nearly struck, closing in with a PB of 6:39 behind Adam's 6:37. Rounding out the top-6 B-milers were Caw-lon with a huge PB of 7:05, followed by a tnfnorth founding father in 7:30.

In the next overall position was another meet record, as Ken McA destroyed 2 litres of chocolate milk and a mile in 7:37. This acceptable non-alcoholic derivative to the b-mile is not only getting faster but growing exponentially in participation.

The women's race featured a return to respectability for KW women. BM rookie Katie took training to heart and crushed the previous meet record of 9:23. Her time of 8:50 has even more merit considering she moved up to 4-beer, and was the only female to do so.

Every record conceivable appears to have been smashed: Mens and womens records, milk mile record, participation records. Will beer miling ever be the same again with our provincial hosts? Will today's hero return to one day run and drink 4-beer again? Only time will tell...

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