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| Name | Time | Sex | Age | Beer | Notes | |
| 1. | Rob "Champ" Kitz | 7:39.0 | M | 20 | Keith's, from can | Took it on the last lap |
| 2. | Chris "Lightweight" Hartman | 7:41.0 | M | 21 | Lonestar, from can | Lost it on the last lap |
| 3. | Braden "I'm Trashed" Novakowski | 10:23.0 | M | 20 | Lucky, from can | Good mile form |
| 4. | Jared "The Bear" Thomson | 10:33.0 | M | 21 | Steeler, from can | Just out of the medals |
| 5. | Shawn "Pussy" Bowen | 10:45.0 | M | 21 | Lakeport, from can | Drunk nurse |
| 6. | Chris "Slut" Brens | 12:12.0 | M | 20 | Lucky, from can | Puked |
| 7. | Javin "Naive Rookie" Sissons | 13:8.0 | M | 18 | Canadian, from can | Ran in jeans |
| 8. | Ashley "Ashbash" Perry | 13:13.0 | M | 23 | Lonestar, from can | What a gay nickname |
| 9. | Travis "Governor of Givin'er" Cummings | 15:34.0 | M | 21 | Lucky, from can | Terrible race, couldn't hold her down |
| 10. | Celia "Upchuck" Peters | 17:5.0 | F | 18 | Canadian, from can | Top female, puked upon finish |
| 11. | Laura "Fast" Andrighetti | 17:21.0 | F | 21 | Canadian, from can | Good outing |
| 12. | Stephanie "Fabolous" King | DNF | F | Canadian, from can | Hard outing | |
| 13. | Nick "Sultan of Sway" Esterbauer | DNF | M | Busch, from can | ||
| 14. | Pierre "Stiks" Landry | DNF | M | Yankee Jim Honey Lager, from can | ||
| 15. | Darryl "Rattlesnake" Blackport | DNF | M | Canadian, from can |
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