| Name (* official) | Time |
Location | Race | Sex | Age | Beer | Notes |
| 1. | C.H.A.S.E. |
8:09.0 |
Tucson, AZ | Tucson New Year Champagne Mile 2009 | M | | Champagne, bottle | |
| 2. | dr. Slow Ride |
9:35.0 |
Tucson, AZ | Tucson New Year Champagne Mile 2009 | M | | Champagne, bottle | |
| 3. | Eskimo Pi Diver |
9:42.0 |
Tucson, AZ | Tucson New Year Champagne Mile 2009 | M | | Champagne, bottle | |
| 4. | Go Fuck Myself |
10:26.0 |
Tucson, AZ | Tucson New Year Champagne Mile 2009 | M | | Champagne, bottle | |
| 5. | Doctor Mudd |
10:36.0 |
Tucson, AZ | Tucson New Year Champagne Mile 2009 | M | | Champagne, bottle | |
| 6. | Papa Don't Peek |
11:24.0 |
Tucson, AZ | Tucson New Year Champagne Mile 2009 | M | | Champagne, bottle | |
| 7. | Napolean Bone A Part |
13:35.0 |
Tucson, AZ | Tucson New Year Champagne Mile 2009 | M | | Champagne, bottle | |
| 8. | Didja Bite My Penis |
14:15.0 |
Tucson, AZ | Tucson New Year Champagne Mile 2009 | M | | Champagne, bottle | |
| 9. | Cop U Late |
14:50.0 |
Tucson, AZ | Tucson New Year Champagne Mile 2009 | M | | Champagne, bottle | |
| 10. | I.P. Freely |
15:26.0 |
Tucson, AZ | Tucson New Year Champagne Mile 2009 | M | | Champagne, bottle | |
| 11. | Examine Me |
15:35.0 |
Tucson, AZ | Tucson New Year Champagne Mile 2009 | F | | Champagne, bottle | |
| 12. | God Almighty |
19:43.0 |
Tucson, AZ | Tucson New Year Champagne Mile 2009 | M | | Champagne, bottle | |
| 13. | Klitty Litter |
DNF |
Tucson, AZ | Tucson New Year Champagne Mile 2009 | F | | Champagne, bottle | |
