| Name (* official) | Time |
Location | Race | Sex | Age | Beer | Notes |
| 1. | Sean "Mr. Rogers" Rogers |
5:59.0 |
Birmingham, AL | Samford Beer Mile 08' | M | 22 | HighLife, can | |
| 2. | Goat Throat |
7:00.0 |
Corvallis, OR | Corvallis H3 1st Beermile | M | 26 | Highlife, can | |
| 3. | Moose Knuckle |
10:21.0 |
Corvallis, OR | Corvallis H3 1st Beermile | M | 24 | Highlife, can | First Beermile |
| 4. | Bo "BOBO" Brawner |
12:02.0 |
Birmingham, AL | Samford Beer Mile 08' | M | 22 | HighLife, can | |
| 5. | Dick For Short |
26:08.0 |
Corvallis, OR | Corvallis H3 1st Beermile | M | 24 | Highlife, can | First Beermile |
| 6. | Just Ashley |
29:23.0 |
Corvallis, OR | Corvallis H3 1st Beermile | F | 21 | Highlife, can | 'like an elephant pissing' |
| 7. | Bumpfuck |
DNF |
Corvallis, OR | Corvallis H3 1st Beermile | M | 39 | Highlife, can | Has common sense |
| 8. | JP "Papa John" Kaal |
DNF |
Birmingham, AL | Samford Beer Mile 08' | M | 22 | HighLife, can | |
| 9. | Will "Denton" Denton |
DNF |
Birmingham, AL | Samford Beer Mile 08' | M | 20 | HighLife, can | 1/2 lap to go! |
| 10. | Michael "Sprinter" Smith |
DNF |
Birmingham, AL | Samford Beer Mile 08' | M | 23 | Highlife, can | last lap 55secs |