Beermile.com World Records
Top Performances Drinking Laker

(not following "official" Kingston rules)

Name (* official)Time LocationRaceSex Age  Year  Beer Notes
1.Jeff "Tummy rubs" Mountjoy   5:48.0   Kingston, ON Kingston Fall Beer Mile 2013M232013Laker, can  5 second PB to maintain winning streak (now 11 straight)
2.Chris "Christmasgibbon" Fitzgibbon   6:29.0   Kingston, ON Kingston Fall Beer Mile 2013M192013Laker, can  Big PB. Exciting projectile vomit right at the finish line
3.Mr. Pink   6:37.0   Toronto, ON SwordfishHHH Beer Mile #10.3M332014Laker, can  PB! 3rd BM in 5 days. Two previous on Tallboys, followed by 355ml celebratory beers convinced him of possibilities. Absolutely flat out, worse leg pain than only 10k race the next day.
4.Jacob "Double horseshoe" Cameron   6:46.0   Kingston, ON Kingston Fall Beer Mile 2013M202013Laker, can  Incredible debut, putting arch nemesis Wilkie to shame
5.Mr. Pink   6:48.0   Toronto, ON SwordfishHHH Beer Mile #4M332013Laker, can  VERY near puke multiple times, spent 10 mins after finishing hunched over storm drain
6.Mr. Pink   7:01.0   Toronto, ON SwordfishHHH Beer Mile #3M332013Laker, can  (Finally) a Hogtown H4 record
7.Mr. Pink   7:20.0   Toronto, ON SwordfishHHH Beer Mile #5M332013Laker, can  First non-PB. Coming ever closer to puking
8.Mr. Pink   7:33.0   Toronto, ON SwordfishHHH Beer Mile #2 / Hogan...M322013Laker, can  Not a H4 record
9.Atta Boy   7:45.0   Toronto, ON SwordfishHHH Beer Mile #3M472013Laker, can  Didn't cool his beer enough. 4th quickest Hogtown BM in history
10.Mr. Pink   7:46.0   Toronto, ON SwordfishHHH Beer Mile #6M332013Laker, can  Almost lost undefeated streak because of busting a 12k Strava segement. First time not leading a Beer Mile
11.Croker Nick   7:52.0   Toronto, ON 5th Annual West Toronto ClassicM2011Laker, can  
12.Kathie Zeman   7:57.0   Toronto, ON 3rd Annual West Toronto ClassicF2008Laker, can  
13.Mark Linsemen   7:58.0   Waterloo, ON 7th Annual Spring K-W BMM2008laker, can  
14.Nick "The Stick" Croker*   8:08.0   Thunder Bay, ON 1st Annual Saint Patrick's Day Be...M212007Laker, can  Another well run race, and destroyed Kip Sigsworth time, which he is proud of. The pre race training at Kenga's the Thursday before really helped.
15.Atta Boy   8:13.0   Toronto, ON SwordfishHHH Beer Mile #2 / Hogan...M472013Laker, can  Made it look too easy and wanted to FRB own trail after
16.Mr. Pink   8:22.0   Toronto, ON SwordfishHHH Beer Mile #9M332013Laker, can  Only non-PB, somewhat incredibly given the frigidness. Reclaims BM crown - several moments threatening to be horizontal on icy curves
17.Mr. Pink   8:47.0   Toronto, ON SwordfishHHH Beer Mile #10.6M332014Laker, can  Thought he was much quicker. First Puke in mouth on Beer #3
18.Mr. Pink   8:53.0   Toronto, ON SwordfishHHH Beer Mile #7M332013Laker, can  Lost perfect record the way he would have wanted. Not trying but pushing Sheldon just enough to ensure new victor spent post-race in the bushes while Pink downed the rest of the beer
19.Pissing Doucheman   9:30.0   Toronto, ON SwordfishHHH Beer Mile #9M262013Laker, can  PB - kudos for improving by 2 seconds despite 3/4 of track being covered in ice
20.Pissing Doucheman   9:32.0   Toronto, ON SwordfishHHH Beer Mile #8M262013Laker, can  Tried to track his run on Strava by leaving his phone at the start line. Third different Hogtown BM champion. Was trying for sub 9. Was on for well sub 8 before final beer meltdown.
21.Pissing Doucheman   9:58.0   Toronto, ON SwordfishHHH Beer Mile #6M262013Laker, can  Breaking 10 mins gave just another reason to laugh at Dualz
22.Mr. Pink   9:59.0   Toronto, ON SwordfishHHH Beer Mile #10M332014Laker, can  Hadn't slept for more than 30 hours at start of BM, fell into drain on back straight
23.Toni Carlisle   10:03.0   Waterloo, ON 7th Annual Spring K-W BMF2008laker, can  First Female
24.Katrina "Red Headed Snippet" Huszarik   11:05.0   London, ON Wrestler's Beer MileF212007Laker, bottle  Women's CHAMPION
25.Pissing Doucheman   11:20.0   Toronto, ON SwordfishHHH Beer Mile #10.6M262014Laker, can  Dressed in enough layers to double his weight. Brought enough alcohol to double his age
26.Funky Monkey   11:24.0   Toronto, ON SwordfishHHH Beer Mile #2 / Hogan...F472013Laker, can  Smashes H4 Female Beer Mile record, Puked within 30cm of finish
27.Atta Boy   11:30.0   Toronto, ON SwordfishHHH Beer Mile #10.6M472014Laker, bottle  Spent a lot of time with 7 hard inches in his hand and finished with an impressive spurt from behind
28.Chris "shitty Hamstring" Holt   11:30.0   Peterborough, ON Post CIS XC Beer MileM192008Laker, can  Pukeage
29.Nick    11:32.0    6th Annual West Toronto ClassicM2013Laker,   
30.Stunt Boobs   12:34.0   Toronto, ON SwordfishHHH Beer Mile #7M352013Laker, can  Aimed for less than 10 minutes, broke his PB by less than 10 seconds
31.Dustin "Dusty" Demille   13:37.0   Toronto, ON 3rd Annual West Toronto ClassicM2008Laker, can  *vomit penalty lap
32.Mr. Pink   15:42.0   Toronto, ON SwordfishHHH Beer Mile #8M332013Laker, can  Paced winner to 6:02 3 beers/3 laps split. Technical DQ for not drinking beers/running laps in right order. For those who speculated if stockpiling beers into one lap would help, it doesn't. It is grotesque.
33.Dave Mika   15:46.0   Waterloo, ON 7th Annual Spring K-W BMM2008Laker, can  
34.Tom Wanks   18:19.0   Toronto, ON SwordfishHHH Beer Mile #10M372014Laker, can  PB: Grown back virgin. Smoker. First mile ran in... well, cumulative life to date...
35.Mr. Pink   23:52.0   Toronto, ON SwordfishHHH Beer Mile #10.6M332014Laker, can  Double Mile: Fuck the double Beer Mile. Walked the last lap. The purest vision of hell seen since he was last in Wales.
36.Jess "Messy Jessy" Fitzgerald   25:30.0   London, ON Wrestler's Beer MileF232007Laker, bottle  The Biggest Loser!
37.One Hump or 2   34:56.0   Toronto, ON SwordfishHHH Beer Mile #6F342013Laker, can  Not the first Hogtowner to own her boyfriend at the Beer Mile. (Hi Shampoo). Impressive virginity popping.
38.Funky Monkey   38:44.0   Toronto, ON SwordfishHHH Beer Mile #3F472013Laker, can  Quit after 3rd lap on puke advisory, but ran it out in the end
39.Mr. Pink's Brother   46:53.0   Toronto, ON SwordfishHHH Beer Mile #4M322013Laker, can  Airtight, you can now feel better about yourself
40.Airtight in a Swordfight   DNF   Toronto, ON SwordfishHHH Beer Mile #6M122013Laker, can  Blamed pre-lubing on Maccy Ds for an inability to beat Shampoo's time and subsequent inability to finish







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