| Name | Time | Sex | Beer | Notes |
| 1. |
celestialspeedster
| 15:9.0 | F | Chocolate Milk, from cup | Stomach made cheese hours later. |
| 2. |
Thorn
| 17:15.0 | M | Screw Driver, from bottle | Showed strong drink mixing skills. |
| 3. |
Michael Cook
| 19:0.0 | M | Steam Whistle, from bottle | Drank 3 pints of beer before race. |
| 4. | Diapor | 19:7.0 | M | Lakeport Honey Lager, from can | Slow but steady. |
| 5. | Lo Newell | 20:9.0 | F | Sleeman Original Draft, from can | Surprised to finish and determined to do it again. |
| 6. |
Roger Pielechaty
| 20:49.0 | M | Grasshopper, from bottle | Knelt in the grass to spit, not vomit. |
| 7. | Coco De Mer | DNF | F | Lakeport Honey Lager, from can | Completed one beer and one lap. |
| 8. | Domina | DNF | F | | Referee |
| 9. |
Zoe
| DNF | F | | Referee |
| 10. |
Kristeen Armstrong
| DNF | F | | Photographer |
| 11. | Dangard Ace | DNF | M | | Spectator |
| 12. | Jo Yu | DNF | F | Sleeman Original Draft, from can | Completed two beers and two laps. |
| 13. | Grandma Kronic | DNF | M | | Spectator |